Why Women Change the Game
Organizations don’t thrive because they play it safe. They thrive when they embrace different perspectives, challenge the status quo, and push boundaries. Women bring an essential lens to leadership, one that isn’t just about representation but about revolutionizing how we think, collaborate, and innovate.
Industries have long been dominated by convergent thinking, where decisions are made based on what’s been done before, women bring a fresh approach. They ask different questions. They connect dots others don’t see. They introduce empathy and long-term vision in places where short-term wins have traditionally ruled. The most successful businesses today aren’t just welcoming women, they’re relying on them.
This isn’t about tokenism. It’s about results. Women who are climbing the ladder, claiming their seat at the table, and rewriting the rules of leadership aren’t asking for permission. They’re showing up, putting in the work, and proving that success isn’t about gender, it’s about grit, intelligence, and courage. The ones who succeed do so not because the system is designed for them, but because they refuse to accept that it isn’t.
And yet, for all the progress, there’s still a cost.
The Cost of Breaking Barriers
There’s a shadow that follows successful women in the workplace. It’s not just the outdated biases or the systemic challenges, it’s something uglier. It’s the rumors, the whisper campaigns, the strategic exclusion. It’s the jealousy-driven, fear-fueled, schadenfreudian nonsense that turns ambition into a target.
Let’s call it what it is: a cultural weakness. A collective failure to celebrate success without suspicion. A deep-seated insecurity that would rather tear down than build up. And it’s not just men who perpetuate it. Women, too, can be guilty of undermining each other, of seeing success as a zero-sum game rather than a rising tide that lifts all boats.
This is the part we don’t talk about enough, the emotional tax of leadership for women. The pressure to succeed is already immense, but the added weight of unnecessary scrutiny, unsubstantiated doubt, and the need to constantly prove oneself? That’s exhausting. And yet, despite it all, women keep showing up. Keep leading. Keep proving that real leadership isn’t about playing politics, it’s about building something bigger than yourself.
Congratulations, You Have a Target on Your Back!
I was talking with a colleague this weekend who’s been facing this very thing. She’s brilliant, driven, and crushing it in her field, and guess what? People are taking shots at her. My response?
“Congratulations! You’ve officially arrived.”
It’s a strange kind of milestone, isn’t it? The moment you start making waves, the moment your success is undeniable, you can bet someone, somewhere, is going to try to drag you down. And not because you’ve done something wrong, but because you’ve done something right.
This is the unfortunate reality: The higher you climb, the more visible you become, and the more some people will resent it. There will always be jealous people. There will always be those who find it easier to tear others down than to build themselves up. There will always be people governed by their baser instincts.
But here’s the thing, none of that has anything to do with you.
Their judgments, their criticisms, their little digs? It’s not a reflection of your worth. It’s a mirror of their own insecurities. Their own issues. Their own ugliness. And the best part? You don’t have to carry it. You don’t have to own it. You certainly don’t have to let it slow you down.
The Good News, There Are Good Men
But let’s not paint the entire picture in shades of conflict and struggle. Because there’s another truth we don’t talk about enough: There are good men. Men who respect and love their mothers, wives, daughters, and sisters. Men who understand how hurtful these things can be and who don’t just stand up but also stand with.
These are the men who call out the toxicity when they see it. The ones who push for change not because they have to, but because it’s the right thing to do. The ones who see leadership as a shared mission, not a battlefield. And they are out there, in boardrooms, in offices, in the trenches of daily work, proving that a better, fairer workplace isn’t just a women’s issue, it’s everyone’s issue.
Mad Respect For WIRL
For those looking to connect with a network that champions women in leadership, take a look at WIRL. It’s a space dedicated to empowering and uplifting women in the restaurant and hospitality industry, and a perfect example of what happens when women, and their allies, work together to change the game.
So, What Do We Do?
We shift our mindset. We create cultures where success is celebrated, not questioned. We challenge the toxic narratives that diminish people’s achievements. We recognize that leadership isn’t a solo journey, it’s a shared responsibility to lift as we climb.
But that’s not enough. We also need to act.
What Do We Do When We See It?
The moment we hear the whisper campaigns, the casual undermining, or the unnecessary scrutiny, we call it out. We refuse to be bystanders to toxicity. Silence is complicity. If we see someone being unfairly criticized based on rumor instead of merit, we ask for facts. We redirect the conversation toward achievements, not assumptions.
We mentor, we sponsor, we advocate. When a woman’s success is met with skepticism instead of support, we step in and make it clear that her contributions matter. We ensure that the workplace is a space where people are judged by their work, not by the fears or insecurities of others.
Most importantly, we create environments where respect isn’t just expected, it’s enforced. Leadership teams must set the tone by rewarding collaboration over competition, transparency over secrecy, and progress over pettiness. If the workplace doesn’t support its leaders, especially those who are pushing the boundaries, it will lose them. And with them, it will lose its future.
The Final Word? Expect It, And Keep Moving
Once you’ve made it, once you’ve hit that level where people start whispering, doubting, undermining, don’t let it surprise you. Expect it. Take it as proof that you’re doing something worth noticing. Then, laugh a little, shake it off, and get back to doing what you do best, leading, building, and proving that success isn’t about tearing others down. It’s about lifting the whole damn thing up.
“You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.” Pablo Neruda
Success, progress, and the rise of great leaders are inevitable, no matter how many obstacles are placed in their way.
The future belongs to those who build it. And women are building. Not because it’s easy. Not because they were invited. But because they refuse to accept a world where they don’t belong at the table.
And that’s a future worth fighting for.
This is dedicated to the incredible women leading the way in our industry, and to women everywhere.
We see you. We respect you. We stand with you.
Amy Hom Julie Zucker Kelly Sennatt Esten Shereen Qumsieh Abigail Lorden Leonhard Stephanie Molinari Kelly MacPherson Angela Diffly Allie Haskell🎩 Pam Beck 🟦 Melissa Hughes, Ph.D. Tammy K. Billings, MBA Kim DeCarolis Cristal Craven Erin Levzow Lauren Selman, CMP Justine Jobe Karen Werner Ami Austin Bridget Byrne Belcher Stephanie Nardini ⚓️Marina O'Rourke🚀💥 Melanie King Alayna Sullivan Kalley Nelson Claudia Sandino Sheila Bennett Tori Dundas Paisley Madison Drewe Raimi Pippa Malmgren Heather Farrell, CSM Julie Ferris-Tillman, Ph.D. Vanessa R. Parker Meredith James Breezie Gindlesperger Melissa Fahs Lisa Landsman Kate Ottavio Kent Alicia Kelso Joanna Fantozzi
